[Cheryl Seagren]

in reply to: Class 7 Post due 11/28/22 #1502

I tend to think that things are about me and that the other person’s behavior is a reflection on who I am or how well I did something. Often I feel that-if I had thought harder or managed better- I could have come up with the perfect solution for that student or that they would behave differently. This is an exhausting way to live and isn’t too helpful for my students either. However, I am beginning to understand that I see behavior through my own internal maps, unique lenses, and values.

Knowing that a student’s behavior is closely tied to their past experiences, relationships, and perceptions helps me to be more objective. I can respond with curiosity (“I wonder what this kiddo is seeing in this moment?”) and compassion (“Wow, it must be really hard to feel_____________”). If I can honor and understand the set-up, I know better how to attune to that student and am less prone to feeling out of control and hyper-aroused. Self-reflection helps to own what is mine.

This helps when working with parents as well. I worked with a second grader who was anxious in lots of areas of her life. She improved a lot at school: She could walk to the classroom by herself and have a good day even when her best friend was absent. When I called to check in with her parents, her mom reported that she had made no progress at home, was still unable to sleep by herself, and was afraid to be in a room alone. At first, I felt like I had failed…and then I thought about the setup. This mom was showing me what her world was like and how powerless she felt to help her daughter. It was no longer about me and I was able to say, “Wow, that sounds frustrating and like- no matter what you do- it doesn’t help.” I was able to keep one foot in and one foot out and, hopefully, help her feel felt.

When I can remember to respect and honor behavior as a very personal expression related to how the student sees the world and what they need, it shifts my perspective and I feel that I can be more present and authentic.

[Cheryl Seagren]

in reply to: Class 6 Post Due 11/7/22 #1452

As you think about using the concepts of Braindrops, Learning Tools, and somatosensory regulation, what challenges and benefits do you perceive?

I really like the visual/ kinesthetic/sensory practices that are a part of Braindrops. Teaching arousal states via the concept of rain and clouds is something that students of all ages can relate to, which makes this a teaching tool that can be used across developmental stages. Braindrops directly teaches interoception (top-down strategies). It also creates co-regulatory experiences and encourages students to find what works for them – all great benefits. I also like the idea of specifically teaching learning tools (NOT fidgets) and challenging students to find the ones that truly help them focus and regulate. This is a new idea for me. I too often see students with their collection of “fidgets” many of which distract them in the classroom. Working with students to find what sort of movements enable them to monitor and adjust their arousal states teaches them to listen and respect their bodies. This is important. One of the things that I found challenging was how to determine when a particular learning tool or somatosensory movement was distracting. Isn’t it difficult to find tools that work for students but don’t distract somebody in the room? It also takes time to explicitly teach the use of learning tools and time for counselors is in short supply. When I watched the videos, there was a lot of movement in the classroom and at times it felt chaotic. That was a hard for me because it felt out of control and scary. I understand that stepping into the energy and moving through it can increase regulation and grow the window of tolerance…But I need to step into that slowly because I find it can be overwhelming and dysregulating.

Understanding that regulation starts with us also presents challenges and benefits. What do you see as the biggest challenges and what are your thoughts about addressing them?

One of the challenges of regulation is learning to become aware of what is happening inside of me. This requires space and time to listen internally so I know when that I am becoming dysregulated and use my specific tools that work to access my ventral vagal system. As a school counselor, it is hard to find even a few minutes for lunch, so determining my arousal state can be a challenge. However, as I practice interoception and learn what works for me to regulate and stay grounded, I am less stressed, more present, and able to teach others how to listen to their bodies. As we discussed in our consulting group, letting go of the “should’s” is difficult. There is often a gap between the day that I had planned and the how it really played out. For example, perhaps I scheduled an SEL lesson and there is a crisis in another classroom at that same time. I feel out of control, which is the fastest way for me to become dysregulated. I must consciously grab ahold of my tools of breathing, talking to a colleague, or gently rocking my body. Jon Kabat-Zin said about meditation that you don’t have to like it, you just have to do it. This applies to me in taking time during my day to pause and listen to my body. I do believe that as I do this more and learn ways to stay within my window of tolerance, my window gets bigger…which makes me more available to support students and staff.

[Cheryl Seagren]

in reply to: Section 1 Post Due 9/12/22 #1240

I am a school counselor as well as a registered play therapist. Last year, as students returned full time to the classroom following Covid, students and staff felt overwhelmed, and teaching/learning were very difficult.

The counseling staff at my K-5 school realized that we needed new ways to approach helping those in our care: Kelso’s Choice is informative, but not what was called for at that time. We designed workshops and lessons to help staff, students , and parents become aware of when they felt overwhelmed, understand what was happening in their bodies/brains, and learn ways that they could bring themselves back to the present. We worked throughout the year to embed mindfulness into everyday practices in the classroom as well as teaching about the window of tolerance along with interoception. It was more successful with some teachers and classrooms than with others.

That was the beginning of my own journey to understand stress and brain states in myself and others. I have noticed that my body gives me clues as to when I am feeling stress and dysregulation…it is often my stomach, heart, and breathing that are affected. I struggle to slow down and pay attention, but when I realize what is happening, I try and realize that I need to be kind to myself and practice self-care and self-compassion. This also explains some of my behavior that doesn’t “make sense”!

An awareness of stress reactions and brain states helps when working with staff, students, and parents as well. I try to remember that behavior is a communication tool and there is always a reason for how a child or adult is acting. I may not like what they are doing, but there is a reason for it. I need to remember and respect this as I help the other person get back into their window of tolerance.

Some teachers are really good about understanding that a child who is in the fear/terror mode won’t be able to reason or do math until their “smart brain” in back online. Other teachers just want the student to fall in line and do what they are asked. Teaching understanding of brain states and stress response is a tough sell with these staff members.

Finally, I am interested in including information about brain states and stress responses in FBAs. These are often just behaviorally-based, but I feel that we are missing out on a huge component of how to understand the student and help them be successful.

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