[Kelsey Prather]

in reply to: Class 7 Post due 11/28/22 #1496

Ever since learning about how our behaviors are really just about our external experiences and our perceptions based off of our experiences, I’ve really tried to apply this lens in multiple situations (school and student relationships, personal relationships, staff relationships, etc.). This concept reminds me of a teacher I’ve noticed every time someone interacts with, she seems dysregulated. At first, I thought, gosh what am I doing to cause this dysregulation within her? And how can I stop it? Then I began to learn she often has this reaction to whomever is speaking with her. For example, when I come into her classroom to get a child, she says “I don’t have time for this, this is too much, there’s too much going on,” and waves her hands in the air, on the brink of tears. This reaction definitely sends my body into a dysregulated state (my heart tends to beat faster, my face feels flushed, etc.). Then, when I am back at my office later, I realize this has nothing to do with my request, this is something internally she is dealing with of her own.
When it comes to my students, I think of one in particular, who shuts down sometimes when I meet with him. Other times, he is super talkative and asks me tons of questions. Every time he shuts down like this and speaks absolutely no words, I immediately feel discomfort. I immediately ask myself, “What do I do? He won’t talk? Alert, he won’t talk!!! Get him to say something, anything!!!” I have seen this child talk a lot, so I think I get self-conscious when he does not speak, like it’s my fault. It takes me a moment, but I sit in the silence attentively and remind myself, it’s not always about words. And we seek movement activities, which seems to help. I have no idea why he isn’t speaking; and sometimes I’ll even say something like this to him, “I see you’re not in a talkative mood. That’s okay, you don’t have to speak. Just know I’m here for you.” I think I’d like to be even more intentional and maybe add, “You don’t have to speak. Sometimes things can feel so overwhelming, or we just can’t find the words. Sometimes, it’s hard to speak *takes a deep breath and finds movement activity*.” Reminding him that silence can also be healing.

[Kelsey Prather]

in reply to: Class 6 Post Due 11/7/22 #1404

As you think about using the concepts of Braindrops, Learning Tools and somatosensory regulation, what challenges and benefits do you perceive?

I have really been trying to implement interoception whenever I can in both classrooms and with individual students. There is a 1st grade class that has been in a hyperarousal state often. I noticed the teacher likes to begin the day with a “Go Noodle” video (I immediately thought of this when you referenced this the last couple of weeks in class) – two feet in. Obviously no fault of her own, the teacher wanted to honor their wiggles and thought starting the day off with a dance party would help regulate her 1st graders. However, this has not helped with regulation :). The students then have a hard time focusing and being engaged in class. The teacher starts giving instruction and students will completely ignore what she is asking, get up, and go to the coloring table, for example.The teacher then feels extremely frustrated and after a few weeks, is often in tears already at 8:30am. I came in the other morning to check in on a student and noticed the “social contagion” Bruce Perry references. When I work with classes, I often tell students that emotions and behaviors are contagious. When we are in yellow brain (Zones of Regulation reference) and very distracted, those around us begin to also become distracted. Sometimes I’ll teach with my back facing towards the students to show them how distracting that can be – if I’m feeling off and acting in an unexpected way, they will start to feel unexpected feelings like confusion, distraction, etc. Emotions are contagious! They often hear me say. Back to 1st grade – I asked the teacher if I could try something for 7 minutes. She said, “Please. ANYTHING.” I asked all of the students to sit quietly in their chairs – I asked this in a very low level voice as I started to deep breathe. I then challenged all students to see if they can sit so still so they could hear and *feel* their own heartbeat. Some blurted out “I can’t!!!” I said, “Oh, I wonder if we turn our voices off if that helps us hear our own heartbeat.” It was hard for me to not say, “Hey! Voices off!” I tried my hardest to put one foot in, one foot out, by acknowledging how challenging this task can be. Then towards the end explained how the energy felt lighter and much more calm – it was now easier for me to focus on what I need to get done.
I bring this example up because some challenges I’m experiencing are both in tier 1 and in tier 2 – regulation, interoception, etc. have it’s own sets of challenges (and benefits!!!) in both settings and environments. The benefits show themselves when I feel a classroom energy go back within their window of tolerance – AND the teacher. The benefits are when a student tells me the next day, “I taught my dad how to quietly listen to his heart beat! He says he meditates too!” I am still working on the challenge of implementing interoception when a student is extremely dysregulated and/or with a large class that is extremely dysregulated.

Understanding that co-regulation starts with us, also has challenges and benefits. What do you see as the biggest challenges, and what are your thoughts for addressing them?

I think some of the biggest challenges with co-regulation in an education setting is, well, it’s within an education setting :). What I mean is, systemically, educators and staff who work in public education are working within a system that doesn’t exactly set them up to be successful. I.e. minimal bathroom breaks, taking work home, not enough pay, working long hours, managing large class sizes, teacher shortage, all while teaching youth amidst a mental health crisis. Educators are already spread thin and we are always on – especially as school counselors, who do not have a planning period necessarily, we are ALWAYS ON. 100% always on. Even when I schedule a regulation walk for myself, sometimes the extra 3 minutes I have gets prioritized with a student I need to check in with before the day escapes me (I have been really trying to turn my regulation walks into a walk with a student who also needs a regulation walk). Believe me, I am a firm believer in true self-care, boundaries, taking time to regulate – heck, I have a Maslow tattoo. It’s very important to me. *And*. It can so easily slip away from me because my heart is so deep in my job. For me, this is one of the biggest challenges of co-regulation. Sometimes, I am not regulated and I don’t even know it. I believe that might be because I keep going and going and going at my job – I barely take a minute to pause. My justification is, “On to the next student, I don’t have all day! There’s so much to do. I just need to push through and then I can relax.” It will take lots of practice and hard work for co-regulation to really happen with educators because of the go-go-go mentality and expectation education has. It is going to take even harder boundaries with ourselves and reminders. I have thought about putting a reminder on my walkie to pause and breathe – such as, a sticker, or a textured sticky strip. A reminder to slow down. A reminder that my self-regulation is actually *helping* others. My self-regulation is how we even begin co-regulation.

[Kelsey Prather]

in reply to: Section 1 Post Due 9/12/22 #1307

Hello! I originally thought this post was due in the “assignments” folder on google drive. So it is late here, although I did “turn it in” on time haha! Here is what I wrote:.

Last week, I visited a teacher in her classroom to ask questions about a point sheet we are developing for a student. When I walked in the classroom, I felt the energy as the students were quietly talking and working on numerous projects. There was another adult in the room, progress monitoring with some students. Right away, after I said hello to the teacher, her response was “There are SO Many things going on right now, I am very overwhelmed, there is just WAY too much expected of me on Friday afternoons.” I saw her begin to tear up and the feeling of overwhelm was clearly greatly impacting her. I immediately offered to watch the classroom for her, as she took a break, but she said “no, no, I can’t”, she started to tear up and walked away from me organizing students to do a different project. Right away, I noticed my body shifting to an overwhelmed, anxious state. I wanted to desperately help this teacher, but I also felt in the way. I wasn’t sure what to do. Eventually the teacher started crying and said “Can I please have a tap out and can you watch my class?” I said of course and she left the class to take a break. When I got back to my office, I had to process what happened with my coworker. I noticed I was disregulated and we both said at the same time “Mirror neurons!!” (she came to your workshop in February :)). I gave myself permission to take a few deep breaths and became curious how my body was feeling. I went too fast for my preference, upon reflection I probably should have gone on a walk outside, drank some hot tea, etc. I pushed through after taking a short moment to *notice*. I am thankful to have that moment with my coworker and to really notice my body and reactions. I believe this helped me be more present an hour later at a parent meeting, for example.

I am also noticing brain states in our students. Week 3, the “honeymoon phase” is over :). There are quite a few students getting a little disregulated and in/out of their window of tolerance; therefore, I see students testing limits with adults and in a hypo or hyper arousal state. I have taken into consideration what brain state a child might be in when they are in “their red brain”, is a common language in the school around Zones of Regulation. A student was in my office and in tears, refusing to go to class. He wanted to go home early like his brother (his brother went home early because of an illness). We did some talk therapy, as well as working on body movement. In retrospect, I would love to try some of the shifting attention activities. It seemed like he was in the “alarm” brain state. I struggled with this because I noticed the more we unpacked emotionally, and the more validation I gave him of his feelings, the longer it took to go back to class. I eventually went to class with him, after working on “I statements” he could tell mom.

[Kelsey Prather]

in reply to: Introduction #1306

Hi, my name is Kelsey Prather Eplee and I am an elementary school counselor in Fort Collins, Colorado. This is my third year as a school counselor, before that I was a youth suicide prevention educator. I really hope to explore and learn more tools of co-regulation. I am excited to hear other people’s perspectives and challenges via consultation groups, as well. Thanks for having me! 🙂

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